Moviepix--5-17-13

Captain Kangaroo, famed host of baby-boomer morning show.

greg osullivan

Greg O’Sullivan, New Director of KCEDA

After an exhaustive nation-wide search for a replacement for Trey Senn, the Klamath County Economic Development Association has selected Captain Kangaroo for the position. Wait…sorry, it is only Greg O’Sullivan, who bears a striking resemblance to Captain Kangaroo.

Where does O’Sullivan hail from? This is no joke: Red Bluff, California. The thriving metropolis famous for its incredible economic growth, business climate mastery and highest ratio of CHP traffic tickets issued to visitors en route to Klamath. Red Bluff has done so well, it compelled many of Klamath’s meth addicts to move there. Since they tend to stay up all night, meth addicts apparently don’t mind the hot summer temperatures that soar beyond 100 degrees most summer days. Red Bluff’s record temperature of 121 degrees would make it rough to be in a suit all day, so O’Sullivan must relish his move up in the world to Klamath Falls. Always keen on frugality, KCEDA, in turn, relishes that it only needs to compensate the new director for a move of 170 miles.

O’Sullivan must have seen through the hype from all of Klamath’s marketeers that claim over 300 days of sunshine a year. In reality, less than 200 is more like it, but it may depend on how you count it. If the sun shines for 5 minutes only, is that a sunny day? If it is so hot that you can’t keep your kangaroo suit on, is that a sunny day?

Hopefully O’Sullivan has all of Captain Kangaroo’s charisma, for he is going to need it to wrangle the management-by-committee model of KCEDA operations, weekly reports to rich kids being one of his core responsibilities. Think about the type of organization KCEDA is now, where if you have to pay to play. The richest organizations and individuals are driving the economic agenda. It didn’t used to be that way. Economic development used to be a function carried out by government for the benefit of the people–a directive that allowed for the autonomy to work a holistic approach–rather than feeding the desires of the pious in a world destined to alienate the have-nots. Got a problem with that? Shut up and bring me the desert menu.