There are a set of behaviors that seem to be more pronounced in Klamath than other places. In general, many more of the people out shopping have no situational awareness, that is, choose not to have any.

Think about the spatial awareness a fighter jet pilot must have…brain fully on, mentally tracking his position relative to everything else. Now think about driving. Most people have to be a little more spatially aware when driving over walking because there is so much at risk, but some Klamathites manage to be largely ignorant. Here are some common scenarios:

A. Turning a corner so slow, the traffic behind is placed in serious danger.

Your vehicle will not roll over if you turn faster and you won’t lose control unless you are too stupid to be driving in the first place. Look behind you! Look what you are doing to those people. Your slowness is about to cause an accident. There are other people behind you! Get your ass out of the way!

B. Driving under the speed limit.

More than any other town, some Klamathites drive under the speed limit, even in areas that are already marked as low as 25 mph. Driving slower doesn’t make you safer, nor do following the all the traffic laws like a good little boy. Losing control of your vehicle is what causes accidents, period, which often results when you are not spacially aware. Driving too slow just pisses other people off and slows people down who need to spend that time earning a living rather than waiting behind you. It seems many of these people drive slower out of spite, like they are showing everyone how they are in control and have re-written the world with their version of the speed everyone should be crawling. Police need to stop ticketing speeders and go after these numb-headed sorts that are torturing those with smart brains and good reflexes.

What’s even crazier is the number of elderly who are driving brand new cars under the speed limit, often sports cars. Dude, if you can’t handle it, why did you buy it? Why are you driving it? We have a lot of college kids that would love to drive you around, why do you insist on causing a traffic jam at the entrance to Sizzler and Bi-Mart every day?

WALKING

You bolt into the store knowing you need three items. Shouldn’t take long. Upon entering the store, you are confronted with a double-wide. No way around them. They’re talking about how there should be complimentary pizza handed out at all stores, glancing at anything supersized, completely oblivious to anyone desperate to get past.

It’s not just the larger bovines doing this. You constantly find people wandering around, so deep into their own dramas, they block isles with their carts, chat with friends going the opposite direction and proceed to cart-block the whole store.

Then…waiting in line. And waiting. One of these people gets to the checker and when everything is counted, starts writing a check. Lady, why the hell didn’t you get everything but the amount ready when you were standing there pondering what flavor of ice cream to eat when you get home? Now everyone is waiting on you for something that should have been done already. And why are you writing a check for $7 in the first place?

This would change if clubbing people who block the flow of anything was legalized. Spatial awareness changes greatly when ignorance becomes painful.

THE REST

There are probably a lot of Klamathites that don’t fit these scenarios. They are the spatially aware who don’t get in other people’s way, so they pass without notice. This rant is about the smaller group of people who show up everywhere like Forrest Gump, making it seem like everyone in Klamath is a backwater idiot.

For the sake of joining the 21st century, something must be done about this.